Jun 5, 2009
You wear shoes? I’m sure you do. So do I. But our respective sizes differ. Hence neither you nor I can get into either’s pair. Tough! Just the reason, matching one’s footsteps is not that easy for others.
But, if we felt like walking beyond the barrier of (self-inflicted) “social jungle”, barefoot, a bit at least, I guess things would have been different in every walk of life. Unfortunate that it never happens, rather we don’t like to get it happened that open and free way.
Reason? None knows. Still our animal instinct flows. Generations after generations, yielding nothing but a BIG ZERO for a BIG HOLLOW, when we love to define ourselves, helplessly, as “social animals”… massaging false egos, flaunting pseudo pride, practicing prejudice, and killing the truest LOVE all around.
Resulting… almost every selfless relationship nips in the bud, divorce helps a marriage go successful, miscarriage fulfills a pregnancy… and the saga of agony and dismay continues. Ironically always in the name of family and relatives, and the likes.
In India we call it ethos, but just outside of our mushy cocoon, our ethos turn into perpetual pathos. Admit it or not. And when it happens, even in the year 2009, the phenomenon can only be described as the SICKNESS OF MIND – incurable, unbearable, and above all else condemnable.
Perhaps that’s why, George Bernard Shaw explained it aptly a long ago: “Marriage is nothing but legal prostitution.” So true. As every unsuccessful marriage is the “broth” duly and intentionally spoilt by many cooks with their ingredients of injurious concern to take away all the “sweet n salt” off a relation… making the “broth” indeed a “brothel” – from where both the husband and the wife get compelled to sell their real emotions, feelings, and eventually themselves to the “bazaar” called society.
Sorry folks! I don’t belong to that society. Because I know my limitations. I know I can never be a “social animal”, instead ever remain a “social human” until I breathe for the last.
And every humiliation on a relationship or a marriage notwithstanding, my fight will continue against this corny society, which actually creates frustration across the length and breadth of lives to promote nothing but “bastard-ism”… in order to breed more and more ailing “social animals” – whose only criterion of living is “suffering from an acute identity crisis”, and thereby forgetting the basics of life that SOCIETY IS FOR HUMANS BUT NOT OTHERWISE.
Jun 1, 2009
Next day a presentation was lined up. For that, I was burning my ass in office. Given my fantastic complexion though the burn would hardly affect the tan of my orbs, still the fire was felt. Quite tellingly in fact.
My corneas were aching as well. I needed to catch some sleep. I folded myself somehow in a nearby chair and slipped down instantly… deep into the rabbit hole.
I landed. A tender touch welcomed me there. “Hey who’s this?” My mind enquired.
“Hi, this is Alice!” The tenderness personified, as she introduced herself with a soft smile.
She looked at me. Precisely she looked into my eyes. I was fixed. Mesmerised by her sight.
I never knew her. But her company was so comfortable that in response to her introduction I could only say, “Hi, I just can’t do without you.”
Once said, I was expecting indifference from her. Nope. It didn’t occur. She took her strides toward me. Winged open her arms. Took me in, and asked, “Why? Tell me Rana, why can’t you do without me? I’m serious, tell me why?”
Oops! She even knew my nickname. Amazing!
My heart fluttered. I felt a sudden choke inside. It was getting tough for me to keep the eyes dry. “But, hey, I’m a guy. So can I cry?” Not really. Hence my jaws were struggling to remain softer. Huh! Sadly all in vain. Tears tore me apart. Sent my toughness for a toss. And simply threw me in the air of emotion that I never realised still alive in me.
Weakly, I could murmur, “Because I love you!”
Alice said nothing. She lowered her head on my chest and decided to nest in there. I thought for ever.
In a single moment, life became worth living a million years and everything turned hunky-dory.
Then Alice began to get sleepy. She slipped out of my arms and slept in dark. Her world of fantasies, her impossible dreams, and her larger than life confusions started to take its toll on her… and she refused to stay awake anymore in light.
Her heartstring uncoiled off mine, soon. To catch and give credit to the dollars with the wings. And willingly she chose the captivity to the freedom.
Also, from outside of the Rabbit hole, I heard a call. Gosh! The presentation awaited my presence, immediately. “I have to talk, talk, and talk… slide after slide, after slide… notwithstanding the landslide that happened inside.”
I was in a great hurry. I looked at Alice. Kissed on her forehead, caressed her mane (perhaps) for the last time. And silently said, “Tata!”
And on my way up off her, I left behind my heart on the layout of a YOUnique Kurti for Alice, which she can wear, nowhere, but only in the world of YOUnique-land!
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